Social Media, On the Road

Finally, I got myself an Instagram account, well, not trying to act young or up to the flow but to stay connected with fellow travelers I met on the road. Despite being owned by Facebook, I think Instagram has superseded Facebook as the most widely used social media networking service in the world, at least for now.

Is this instagramable? Lol

Back in the old days, I used to carry a note book (not a netbook but a real book) on the road as a way to keep contacts with fellow travellers I met, in addition to recording all my idea or thoughts on the road. By watching the note book full of email addresses of different handwriting followed by sending updates via the email using the computer in the guesthouse which usually charged hourly is such a nostalgia to behold. A friend of mine even found my email address written on a travel guidebook which was left in Varanasi.

Back in On the Road 1.0 and On the Road 2.0, social media had been gaining much popularity and what we exchanged on the road was Facebook which we did it on the spot and on the line. Smart phone was still not common back then and many backpackers like me used to carry a netbook, yes, a small-sized laptop, on the road. Writing and updating blog was still common back then to the extent that it has become the source of useful information on the road. This is especially true among European-American travellers who are the pioneer of backpacking. They never stop to impress, if not inspire, me with their whole bunches of creative, if not crazy, idea of travelling around the world.

When it comes to On the Road 3.0 now, I think Instagram is the calling shot. Almost every traveller I met on the road would ask “Let me have your Instagram.” I always smiled in ashamed “I don’t have an Instagram.” Instagram, to its feature I guess means, every photo or video sharing is done in an instant manner, literally. To the sorry of all, I found that Instagram just doesn’t suit my style. Call me old-fashioned or old school then.

Anyway, I still prefer to write on my blog. Be slow but thoughtful.

Varanasi, Where the Holiest River Flows

There are thousands of holy sites in India to which Hindu pilgrims travel. They travel to Varanasi to the ubiquitous ghats dotting along the Ganga to wash away their sins by taking a ritual bath in the sacred water. Some cremate their loved ones here. It is enlightening to know that the elderly Hindu, some even travel from afar, often make Varanasi their final destination. There is a strong belief that dying in this sacred city would release a person from the cycle of rebirth, where Moksha (liberation from samsara) would be attained. Therefore, it is an auspicious place to die here.

Well, not for me, yet.

The main cremation site is located at Manikarnika Ghat further north, followed by Harishchandra Ghat which is the smaller but is also the oldest at the south. While I’m not new to a cremation or its funeral procession alike, it still kind of touching me, if not stunning me, to learn that there are people out there, especially the homeless and the poor, living in the designated quarter near the cremation ghat, just waiting to die.

Manikarnika Ghat

Harishchandra Ghat. Note that the yellow buildings are the designated quarter for the would-be dying

Piles of firewood are stacked on top of the ghat where every log is carefully weighed to determine the price of the cremation

Ganga aarthi (river worship ceremony), the auspicious lighting of lamps and candles and the playing of Bhajans (devotional songs), is held by the western bank of the Ganga at Dashashwamedh Ghat at sunset every day. There were even two ceremonies held at Dashashwamedh Ghat alone when I was here. Both ceremonies, from where they were just few meters apart and had no dissimilarities in the procession, never fail to attract throngs of believers and non-believers to congregate and observe the ritual in a hard-to-come peaceful manner. With VIP seats (seat on rooftop; Rs 50) and VVIP seats (seat on the boat; Rs 100) being offered to audiences, it is definitely a fascinating, if not profit-making, ceremony. Oh, God! Please forgive me. I shouldn’t see things in a singular way. I shall take a ritual bath in the Ganga to cleanse my sins.

Throngs of tireless pilgrims were queuing to perform puja at Vishwanath Temple. Sturdy wooden barriers have to be set up to better contain them

People Mountain People Sea

Ganga Aarthi

One of the seven well-dressed priests who were performing the Ganga Aarthi

As you aware, Varanasi is popular for river boat trips. To me though hesitant at first, as the boatmen in Varanasi have been widely claimed to be notorious, a boat trip along the Ganga is rewarding. The boatman we approached randomly at dawn was honest and not oppressive. While we were not able to catch the sunrise, it was indeed a wonderful float (not bath though) on the Ganga where you get a chance to watch pilgrims coming to the riverbank early in the morning to perform puja to the rising sun and taking the steps leading down to the water for ritual bath. After all, there are not much things to do for a non-believer like me in Varanasi.

Early morning dips

An evening stroll along the river bank is a leisure in itself

Even the buffaloes have sins to cleanse

There wasn’t too many touts or scams in Varanasi in which it is always famously or infamously associated with, contrary to what I have been imagining ever since. I somehow felt unchallenged. Aside from occasional locals loitering along the riverbank trying to sell me Marijuana, there were some locals claiming to be the volunteer working for the dead at cremation site who acted as wannabe guide and tried to ask for donation after providing a seemingly true explanation.

Only a handful of Sadhu (holy men) were meditating on the river bank, with majority of them believed to be posting for tourists

While Varanasi is spiritually enlightening, perhaps it is rare for such rituals of life and death to take place in public, especially in the naked eyes of public.

When I was at Manikarnika Ghat in a few lazy afternoons, I was often reminded to behave respectfully. Photographing was also strictly prohibited. However, to my confusion and surprise, one moment foreigners like me were prohibited to take any photo or video on the cremation, the next moment I saw the locals were busy taking photos and videos; one moment foreigners were reminded to show respect while in the cremation ghat and to keep low while talking, the next moment I saw a boat with loud music and dancing beats passing by with locals dancing on it while the funeral ritual processed. The boat somehow even had a brief stop right in front of the cremation ghat. What an ironic and contradictory encounter! Perhaps India has proved itself to be, in the words of its first prime minister, Jawaharlal Nehru, ’a bundle of contradiction held together by strong but invisible threads.

A cremation is always an eye-catcher, with some seemed to be fond of commenting

Perhaps if a place is widely considered sacred and holy, every religion would want to share, if not claim, a bit of it. You might not be agreeing with me but look at The Holy Land – it is divided into different quarters for Judaism, Islam and Christianity. Look at Bodhgaya – there is a mosque and a Muslim graveyard with door opening to the Mahabodhi Temple Complex. The same in Varanasi – there is a Muslim community living piously in their own quarters along the sacred Ganga as well.

A 'red carpet' was laid for the pilgrim to lead them to one of the holy temple

This somehow made me recalls of a friend of mine of Hindu belief who, in his final pursuit of God, quit his job and his entire familiarity after 20 over years of living abroad. He told me his entire family has been staying and working in one of the many ashrams in India and he felt like joining them in order to stay nearer to the God.

After so many years on the road, I still find myself on the crossroad, trying to figure out what God is and what faith can and would do to a believer. Aside from believing in science, I used to be contented for being an atheist where I enjoyed in trying to understand the Al-Quran, The Holy Bibles, The Vedas, The Tripitaka or The Guru Granth Sahib but it wasn’t until I set myself On the Road 3.0 that I realize I know nothing about religion, not to mention the faith that always intrigues me.

The popular Blue Lassi

It is strange that time passed a little bit slower than I expected in Varanasi. But I still stay here for a week. I thought I would stay here longer. Moving closer to the Ganga didn’t put me nearer to the God. Instead, it connected me with other travelers. We liked to hang out on the rooftop at night and lazying around in the dorm during the warm noon. By now, I have had a farewell hug with C who was leaving to Agra, followed by parting with P who was flying to New Delhi. Finally, J also left to Nepal. I’m the first to arrive and the last to leave in the dorm. Something is amiss.

P, S, C, J and BC, Varanasi, Jul’19

In my initial plan, Varanasi is the last place that I would want to go. I thought by making such the holiest place as my final destination would serve a significant enlightenment to my On the Road 3.0. That must be an auspicious ending.

On the Road 3.0

After N years of who knows what I have been doing, here I am, on the road, again. I have been inundated with lavish wishes and envy which I find myself clueless to cope with. Strangely, I’m not excited. I’m not really looking forward to this as expected. While two is better than one, one is not worse than two.

Comparing with On the Road 1.0 and On the Road 2.0, I won’t say I’m better-equipped this time. However, I’m definitely well-prepared, if not over-prepared. Who know what the reason is, I find myself scrutinizing almost every single item and detail, from sorting out what items are essential, what to pack, what medication to bring, what kind of vaccination to take, what kind of travel insurance to buy to what kind of mindset to set, trying to optimize everything towards perfection. I must have been sick. Hahaha.

Packing for On the Road 3.0

While there is similarly no rush and no pressure this time, I know there is a time frame that I can’t ignore. Unlike On the Road 1.0 and On the Road 2.0 where there were no time frame and I wandered anywhere I like and anytime I want, I know where I will be going and what I will be doing this time. Apparently, this discounts the joy of being impromptu.

Things changed. Smart phone has led many things to retirement, from compass, GPS, paper map, watch, camera, netbook to messaging, emerging as the top one essential item in our travel bucket. It is definitely the giant killer. Having said that, I have left many group chats. I prefer to stay off the grid, like I used to be. I can’t be certain if I’m kind of enjoying it or I’m just getting used to it. Whether this is the pursuit of freedom or merely an act of escapism, I guess I don’t want to care. Anyway, I just want to concentrate on my life on the road, like I used to be. Yes, like I used to be.

Bon Voyage.

Dark Force

I wonder why I check my mailbox every day. Oh, yeah, maybe it’s because of the automatic job match that I reactivate.

The only reason I always get trapped in my own negative thoughts is because I have too much time for pondering around, be it when I was traveling or as a hollow bystander as for now. Pondering itself is good but it’s also capable of dragging you into a bottleneck if you are not controlling it, especially when you are a pessimistic person. There is always a limit for something.   

Perhaps you don’t know. Those things that I was doing since quitting my job and those things that I’m considering to do next are those I’ve been thinking to do it when I was, ahem, ‘younger’. So, to some extent, I shouldn’t feel too ‘late’ to have done it by now, yeah, shouldn’t. It’s just things change, you change or something makes you change, and sometimes doubts start to crawl in and you lose confidence or even passion and end up calling those a dream.

My heart is the ultimate culprit of all these. It’s not steady enough. Dark force is a new term in my life given by my friend. It’s quite interesting to know that when I was working, the dark force is asking me to leave and do something that you have been thinking of, and while I was traveling, the dark force is calling me to get back to work. I already feel the late when I graduated from university at the age of 24. Time flies like no tomorrow. I have to admit that pressure comes when age grows. I know I’m not that old but I think it’s time for me to answer to myself responsibly. If I’m younger I would have ignored everything. That’s why sometimes I wonder how those single senior travelers I met on the road thinks. I admit that my heart is not consistent enough. I think strong mind and having faith on the things I do is the only ‘exit point’ for me.

I just want to lead a slightly different life if possible, at least give me another chance to try it. One final chance and I shall get back to ‘normal’. This is the promise I render to myself. If settling down and repeating the same chores like others is my fate, then I will take it as my destiny. Routine life isn’t that bad after all.

This is the power of faith – believing in God only to rationalize every failure you encounter in life.

Life off the road

People tends to think that when they come back from a 'journey' or having done something which is out of 'the norm', they usually want to do something different, whether with continuation or without, to their previous 'feat'. While having accomplished a long journey is not a big deal, I personally think that that's fair and fine to have such thinking because that means that one had set up something to 'seek' when they embarked on a journey or along the journey. There is something which is brewing deep within which is waiting to be heeded. There might be a desire deep inside their heart to seek a change, be it successfully or not.

People might expect you to change upon completing a long journey. I totally aware and agree with this because that’s the stereotype thinking of the society – An input putting into a factory must deliver an even greater and more useful output. However, I refuse to ‘change’ according to what the society expects but I’m willing to let something I collected on the road changes me to whatever character it could be. I think I have made it 'let it be as it would be', if not compromise, when it comes to the matter of whether I have changed in any single aspect of being a man after coming back from a 'long journey'. Sometimes when I can't get out from a bottleneck, I just try to comfort myself that things happen when it happens and you will learn it when it happens. There is no point to waste time trying to attest something out of your ability. However, it's discouraging to tell you honestly that I'm still at the crossroad, reluctantly to get back to the routine life that everybody does, trying to find and/or plan something that suit me better. Sometimes negative thinking will hit me and drag me to the edge but what to do? Perhaps I should think out of the box where getting back to so-called routine life isn't that bad as I always think. Routine life could be exuberant. All is just the matter of how you see your life. I almost 'fall' back to the routine life when I made my visit to Singapore. My friend recommended a job for me which is to work in Maldives. I have almost closed my eyes and made up my mind to go as that matches one of the items in my list which is to work and live in Africa. But after a deliberate consideration, I decided to put it under KIV. The timing is so right that it suddenly becomes so not right.

Right now I allow myself to spend as shorter time as possible with all the findings collected along my journey. I need some time to 'confront' with those and I truly and sincerely think that I will be benefited from those eventually. Like what a friend of mine quoted from Steve Jobs’s one of the many speeches: Everything happens, the small dots in your life, will make up the 'line' of you in your future. Every little things happen, which you do not know how it will affect your life currently, it turns out that someday in the future it's these little things that makes up your life then. Hope we all benefit from this.

Un Abrazo~~

回归路上

Tham Krasae, Death Railway, Kanchanaburi, Thailand

还是决定回归路上。

(说回归，我是太一厢情愿了)。

不需要别人提醒，这是个一意孤行的举止，因为我不知道除了旅行之外，还有什么方法可以为自己不安于现状、不甘于枯燥、不乐于墨守成规的心找到一个踏实的出口。对于当下我以为还是一样没什么好逗留更不可能眷恋的大环境，我压干儿就提不起劲儿。执著的背后，隐藏着哑子吃黄莲的鸵鸟心态。

我迷失了。

旅人们最爱挂在嘴边的座右铭是，旅行是愈“旅”愈“行”。我以为，见识了世界之广褒后就会自然了解自己的渺小；经历了一路上文明的洗礼后自己就会变得“更文明”；见证了历史的造化和兴衰后对于世界的观点会更加透析。我以为回家后，将会是一个全新的我。我是如此迫切希望看到自己的改变。
 

我们总是寄望旅行能带给我们一些什么东西。失恋失婚甚至失去另一半的人总寄望旅行能让他们失去记忆；单身男女却又希望通过旅行来寻找艳遇或一夜情；年轻人总是认为旅行最能训练自己的独立能力，一些人把旅行当成生活，在路上挣扎求存，另有人则认为旅行是为了生活，生活同时也是为了旅行。

旅行，也许只不过是生活上另一件简单的事，不需要被看得太重。

在泰国著名的丹嫩莎杜艾(Damnoen Saduak)水上市集，翁猜(Aomjai)问我为什么希望改变，是因为自己一直以来并没有好好地生活，对不起自己和社会，还是因为发现自己内心某一处的黑暗面而自己却又没有好好去面对。翁猜和玛基潘(Maziipan)是我在路上唯一碰过面而且还一直重遇的少数泰国背包客，先是在伊朗的麦什得(Marshad)，然后吉尔吉斯坦的比什凯克(Bishkek)，最后一次碰面是在新疆喀什的老城青旅，两人的胸前总是挂着一台配有录音的数码相机。他们在回泰国前去了南奔(Lamphun)府的十天内观禅修(Vipassana Meditation)课程，翁猜在那里哭了出来，他说他看到自己内心的魔鬼。我拧头朝他望了一眼，好像笑了一笑，似乎没有作答，因为我不想告诉他们我已经厌倦了三十年的自己。翁猜说我意志坚定，我暗笑，只要不是一意孤行、执迷不悟、不懂得变通，那就已经很好交代了。

旅行，是一种不断移动的生活格局，一开始，就无法(或不懂得)停止，一旦停顿下来，脚步就变得沉重，心也随之沉了下来。这是我目前对旅行的心态。我知道这有点不切实，所以我说我迷失了。我从来没有隐瞒自己想要过一个不一样的人生的欲望，只是当下的意志还是差强人意。WC说他对我以后的生活方式充满好奇，我笑笑，不置可否，我比谁都更好奇。我一直认为，旅行，是对人生一次的洗牌，所以我上路，再上路，尝试在路上寻找一些有的没的自己也无从知晓的东西，试图在每个人都这么做所以这么做一定是最佳的选择的生活形式里寻找除了这样是不是还有另一样的可能，没有义无反顾的冲动，没有昭告天下的自我膨胀心态。

我只想静静地旅行。

在隔离病房的那段日子，我一心只想延续那未完成的心愿，于是，未完的旅程在经历了这么一个不期然的断层后，被我顽强地重新连接上，然后在我眼前的四面白壁上开始铺展。当初是打算在印度呆个四个月，既六个月多次入境签证批后所剩下的期限，顺便到斯里兰卡和孟加拉走走看看，三月头进入尼泊尔，再入藏，然后从中国大陆走向东南亚，回家。以目前的情况来看，受限于两个月的缓冲期，印度是回不去了，中国暂时又不想去(中国本来就不在计划里)，其他需要签证的国家也因为护照满了而不做他想，所以剩下的就只有免签证又咫尺的东南亚。

离开病房后，我小心翼翼地“重新”投入仿佛脱离很久的环境，虽然只是短暂的两个月，但也足以让喜欢胡思乱想的我感到窝囊。打开久违的华文报章，铺天盖地的新资讯在我不断翻阅的过程中涌入我的脑袋，我突感无从招架；对于朋友家人的询问，我竟然有点一问三不知的错愣，多数时候我都是一副恍然大悟的呆样，有点任人摆布的感觉；对于通货膨胀和物价高涨，我竟然以为市面上还有一块钱的粽子，我仿佛是在自己土生土长的国家里旅行。我开始想利用即将离开这里作为忽视这一切的藉口。如果你说我是在逃避，我是不置可否的，因为我拿不出理由来反驳你，堂而皇之的所谓理由只能欺瞒懵懂的自己，没办法说服人。虽然如此，对于重新适应环境，我还是认为自己没问题的。如果我告诉你我对重新适应或许依然熟悉或许已经陌生的环境这回事感到为难，那一定是我太逊了。我不是不想承认，而是我认为重新适应环境是在我的能力范围内，那是人类与生俱来的能力。

面对着既熟悉又陌生(其实陌生的元素比较多)的环境，我尽量控制自己不去批判，不发出哗众取宠的呐喊，不要吃饱没事做而无病呻吟，尽量不做出只闻楼梯响不见人上来或雷声大雨点小的行动，尽管在某种程度上，不，在很大程度上我还是忍不住，我对很多尤其发生在国内的事件还是非常有意见，还有偏见。我之所以控制自己不去批判是因为我认为那一切只不过是旅行归来后为了美化自己的旅行壮举或以为自己经历了“不一样的人生”后就有资格发出自以为高人一等的控诉。

再说，我的旅程还没告一段落呢。

Another Sequel

I thought I’m closing the chapter of Kyrgyzstan until I received a message from S.

hellow myfriend.
are you get to Pakistan safely?
today I just staying in Bishkek still the same. (dont have to explain why)
I realize that you wrote something about this guest house and people on your blog.
(even about me) cause the owner of guest house told me that they found your blog from google search
during they searching backpackers opinions about there own business.
I know you spend hard days in here.
and you still say the same thing you already told me a lot (except that I want stay here cause I just want hang arround with Japanese, even that is not major reason) but there are no answears
about travel my friend. (as I told you a lot)
and you better to care about that when you put your opinions about someone else, you not really gonna put there real names on blog. cause still the blog is open space and your opinion can heart them.
There is no serious or non-serious in travel. people just can do whatever they want as there own serious way even they doesn't explain to you (like you say on your blog, 'freedom and flexible')
Maybe you will realize that when you travel a lot enough more... my friend.
Still I think I enjoyed travel with you these days and Im so sorry that I couldn't go with you.
Just I hope you have more relax and warm vision to judge someone or even just for opinions.
You not wrong. but others doesn't neither.

I hope you enjoy rest of your journey my friend.

ps : I'll never mind that you even block me
from facebook account if you want it.
I just want you understand meaning of this massage.
Im not blame on you

Do you know what came to my mind first when I read through this message?

It’s patronizing. Ermmm…perhaps not…not only before I met and greeted the sender again in Hunza that I realized I was ignored. I was quite surprise he was reluctant to confront me. To be honest, I was quite sad and disappointed but that’s it. I told myself no further approach is necessary. Why should I let my warm face be received with a cold ass?

I never know that there are actually people out there who would get fussy when there is a time they were mentioned in someone else’s blog. The worst thing is I didn’t(did I?) even write something bad about somebody(please read Another Days(s) which has turned out to be the center of controversial and judge me).

‘…and you better to care about that when you put your opinions about someone else, you not really gonna put there(their) real names on blog. cause still the blog is open space and your opinion can heart(hurt) them.’

Perhaps I should appreciate this kind reminder but I also want to tell that this is a world of freedom of expression. I know the boundary of blogging very well and that’s the reason I use surname/last name/nick name and not the full(real) name in each and all of my blog entries. Libel is a thing that never comes across my mind, ever.

‘There is no serious or non-serious in travel. people just can do whatever they want as there(their) own serious way even they doesn't explain to you (like you say on your blog, 'freedom and flexible')

To be honest, I don’t know what the point of the aforementioned is as this is exactly what I have mentioned and agreed about ‘freedom and flexibility’ in my blog. Apparently this is redundant.

‘Maybe you will realize that when you travel a lot enough more...’

Am I not traveling enough just to realize that everybody has their own travel goal and style? I don’t think one needs to travel more to realize this simple fact. Having been on the road for months, I will never say this to anybody to show my seniority. This is apparently written by someone who thought that he has been on the road for awhile and hence stands on a higher ground to teach you something about traveling.

‘Just I hope you have more relax and warm vision to judge someone or even just for opinions.
You (are) not wrong. but others doesn't(don’t) neither.’

Since there is no right or wrong thing as the sender said, then my opinion and how I related my travel encounter is not important. If there is no right or correct thing, then why there are somebody out there who would feel annoyed or even irritated? Once again, I didn’t even say something or someone is wrong. What about if I did?

‘I'll never mind that you even block me from facebook account if you want it. I just want you understand meaning of this massage(message). Im(I’m) not blame(blaming) on you.’

Blocking the sender on Facebook? This is so funny. Why should I do that while on the contrary he is the one who ignored me? I should be the one who feel relieved not being blocked. This definitely sounds more patronizing than sincerely wanting me to be good.

If there are really someone out there who get hurt just because of my writing, I don’t think I can do anything except to feel regret. Forgive me if I’m being too straightforward – if there are someone out there who are so afraid of letting people know their things, then my suggestion is don’t tell your real name while meeting new friends, don’t tell anything about yourselves when meeting new friends, don’t socialize, and perhaps don’t speak but remain smile all the time. Perhaps a ‘burqa’ and a veil work better. Then you will be in a very safe cave where you can simply enjoy the whole cave by yourselves. In that case, nobody can or will talk about you.

It’s so sad that the people nowadays are so afraid when being commented or judged. I thought it’s a channel to hear from others and gain more understanding about yourselves. By the way, to my opinion, if you dare to do or speak but on the other hand getting worry or feeling uncomfortable when other people get to know your doings, or even make a comment on you, then this kind of people has no difference with a hypocrite.

If someone out there thinks that the blog things are all about teasing and maligning, then he or she is totally wrong. It’s all only about recording and expression of my personal thought except that I put it online.

I’m not that kind of person who refuses to hear from others as long as it’s reasonable and convincing. And please forgive me for being judgmental and acting in a seemingly arrogant way to protect my ground.