The Unfinished Journey

Trust me. This is the hardest decision I would ever make in my life.

It took me weeks, from making up my mind to discarding the decision capriciously from day to day and from time to time, before I could finally force myself to take an impulsive and irreversible action. I won’t surrender with the current condition if not because of the unforeseen fatal risk that I’m currently taking.

Alas! I’m totally discouraged and frustrated.

3 weeks! It has been 3 weeks and I’m still suffering. I never thought that I’d be so weak physically. Luck was not standing by my side this time. I kept on asking myself everyday if I still can travel if my body started to collapse at 5 or 6pm followed by the onset of a combination of fever, headache, trembling and then mass sweating which entangled me at least once particularly in the evening every day? Is it worth to travel like this, to haul a dead body? Well, the answer is NO when I was in the middle of the agony but the answer quickly turned to YES when I reborn again. ‘Give me some more time and I shall recover’ was what I heard from my inner voice but at the same time the other side of mine opposed that and urged me to stop traveling and seek serious medical assistance right away. I don’t have a certain answer. In fact, I can’t have a definite answer.

Have I told you that I’m simply and totally not ready for the decision? There are still so many places out there I can’t wait to go. There are still so many sites I want to visit. There are still so many things I want to do. There are still so many countries ahead waiting for me to discover. There will be no place to keep and console my little restless soul!

I’m very sad and dismayed. I really don’t want to do this.

But deep inside my soul which I have decided to leave it on the road, I know and I’m very sure that, in one day not far from now, yes, not far from now, I would be going back to pick up my soul to continue the unfinished journey, yes, to continue the unfinished journey.

Till then, my friends.

Sukran Jazeelan and Ma’a salama (Arabic).